You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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