barbara walters just said penis...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
