i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just found puke in my bra..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
