if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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