Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
