..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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