Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped