Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
