no, he came in my armpit
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
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How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
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Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
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