Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
