Buhtt sex?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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