I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
This Twitter User’s Story About Meeting A Notorious Serial Killer Will Leave You Shook
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
20+ Wholesome Memes You Need In Your Life Right Now
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.