Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".