At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
