Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
