i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
