but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
