I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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