No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
