is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
