oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
