Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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