ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
try to milk me bitch
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