ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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