He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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