She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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