We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
