what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
