I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
