I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
