I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
