You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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