Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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