just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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