You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
