I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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