We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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