So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
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We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
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At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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