listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
