She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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