it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
did i walk over a car last night?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
