1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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