All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
