yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
