I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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