She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
