is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
