lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
