I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
