I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
