I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
