I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
