oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
