he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize