i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize