i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
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