STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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