she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize