STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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