I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
