can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
