I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
